Whimsical Wine Lover Gifts

Angelic Wine

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'House red please.'

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

'Hey, bartender! This scotch is watered down!'

'How wonderful, I've always wanted to meet a connoisseur of wines costing under £4.99 a bottle.'

'Mmm...it's got a good nose on it.'

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

'You know, our collection of bottle bags is worth more than our collection of wines.'

Swine List

'If the pesticides, herbicides and fungicides keep us from selling this as wine, how about we go into the nightlight business?'

'Of course you feel unwell. You have too much blood in your alcohol stream!'

'The art is only so-so, but the California white wine is quite acceptable.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great wines for under $5.00 a bottle.'

"Dinner is poured."

'Yes, it's me again.'

'Wine for Left-Handed Women from North Phoenix, Who Wear Glasses and Like Cats? Sorry, we only have from South Phoenix.'

"Wine with dinner tonight, Tom - and it's locally sourced!"

Mom wine tasting