Whimsical Planner Mugs

"I built this scale model of town to plan out our bank robbery. I added the volcano for dramatic effect."

Fly-drive

Woman throwing darts at her calender

'And leave any chocolatey looking bits - the cat's been in the garden again,'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

'I'll get into the garbage, Whiskers here will wreck the sofa, and you - you'll drive the getaway castle.'

"So this is your plan B?!"

"This was on his bucket list. He wanted to be buried in a bucket."

"I'm firing a few arrows into the air. They'll fall to earth at the morning meeting after I've cleared my desk."

"And without shaking yourself, where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Cindy's imaginary friend has the day off so the agency send over a temp to fill in.

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

Shop for cats

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Carrots on sticks wardrobe.

"It's a game where we roll the dice to see which destination wedding we should spend our savings on this year."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'It's a very realistic set that even comes with contract specifications and outrageous bid proposals.'

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

"Ok, get the 09:30 to Manchester... change for the 11:25 to Preston.. then catch the 12:15..."

Fortune teller has a diary for 2017

School Trip To The Beach

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

"When I win the lottery, I'm gonna spend four months a year at my South Beach condo...five months a year at my Malibu pad...and six months a year at my Caribbean beach house."

"Want to have a few pies after work?"

"Lunch Thursday at one? Looks good to me."

Giraffe helping with a date.

A man doing a reality check.