Whimsical Matchmaking Pillows

'My name's Jeffrey. Will you be my Valentine?'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

cuPad

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

Cupid

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

'I guess we're both out of luck. You like girls with big boobs, and I like a man with brains and halfway decent looks.'

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

'I don't know what he sees in her - she can't even freeze an embryo.'

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

"I think you are exceeding the speed limit."

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

Online Dating

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

Mister, Inc: 'Wrong...Right'

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

Computer dating.

"This is definitely the last time I arrange a date over the internet!"

'Anyone can arrange a blind date, only truly great ones can arrange a whole relationship.'

'I know she's not much to look at, but neither are you!'

The Devil and an angel talk by the water cooler.