Whimsical Justice Seeker Gifts

Lawyer to pirate with patch over eye: 'Tell me about the injury this Cap'n Hook gave you trying to high five.'

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

The Three Wise Queens

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"Now that's a win."

Government a la Carte

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

MLK

Liberty Chained to its Freedom

Arizona In Black

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Jane Goodall's study of primates in the land of oz didn't go as well as her previous projects.

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Wal-Mart Ruling

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Truth

Law School teacher.