Whimsical Investor T-Shirts

"Sell all my stocks and buy lots of old comic books instead!"

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

'I'm tired of people stealin' me gold so I put it all into Bitcoins.'

"Were those pots of gold in any kind of interest-bearing accounts?"

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'Can you be more specific? Are you pointing at IBM, IMCLONE, INTEL...?'

"Brick, Eh? Well, sorry to blow your house down but these days it's not wise to be so invested in stability."

'If these coins take root Sid, money really will grow on trees!'

"It's your cat broker, Madame - he has a hot tip on a Siamese."

'I can't take all the credit. My childhood imaginary friend picked a lot of my stocks.'

Financial advice books for boomers.

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"Accounting tricks didn't work, so we had to resort to witchcraft."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Swan Fairy Tales

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Dogs and their thoughts

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Hawaiian hitchhiker."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Spring Training

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Scuba cow"