Whimsical Animal Lover Pillows

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

I'm so happy that this sweater covers everything but my anus and genitalia.

"I don't think the new guy is going to work out."

Ok chaps, let's put this cheap Christmas cracker trumpet through its paces!

'He's my lawyer.'

Veterinary Surgeon

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"Actually I never loved you."

Pampered Pets.

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Chippunks

Rattache

Carpet Cows

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

Animal rescue center

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'