Western Wit Lover Gifts

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Cattlemans Saloon.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'I hate reruns.'

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

Wanted for Stick Up

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Two clowns shoot out a duel in a Western - One has a gun that says 'Bang!', the other has a gun that says 'Ouch!'

Dang prairie dogs!

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

"Yeah, but I'm sick of the glitter getting all over everything."

'Twinhawk was a mean, bloodthirsty town'

"It's so hot. Wonder if we can get the Big Dipper to pour some water out on us."

Evacuation Route.

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

"Suddenly, this whole cowboy thing seems like some kind of sad, empty charade."

The Innumerate Seven

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's been lookin' all over for ya.'

Just Protestors

Marshal Hickory BIll makes the first Wild West faux pas.

"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"

"Well, I'll be danged-he's got accordion boots."

Wanted - better artist.