Western Wit Lover Gifts

Well, that's what happens when you never seal the Tupperware lid properly and the biscuits go stale.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Cattlemans Saloon.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'I hate reruns.'

"Giddyup."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

Wanted for Stick Up

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Two clowns shoot out a duel in a Western - One has a gun that says 'Bang!', the other has a gun that says 'Ouch!'

"The rumors were true - you're the slowest gun in the West."

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

Dang prairie dogs!

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

"Yeah, but I'm sick of the glitter getting all over everything."

'I'm not packing - This is my BlackBerry.'

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's been lookin' all over for ya.'

The Innumerate Seven

"Suddenly, this whole cowboy thing seems like some kind of sad, empty charade."

"He's doing a mojor renovation from bad guy to good guy."

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

"It's so hot. Wonder if we can get the Big Dipper to pour some water out on us."

Evacuation Route.

'Twinhawk was a mean, bloodthirsty town'

Just Protestors

"Well, I'll be danged-he's got accordion boots."

Doc. Bogle: Specializing in Itchy Trigger Finger.

Marshal Hickory BIll makes the first Wild West faux pas.