Wellness Junkie T-Shirts

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

Health

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Apocalliptical

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

"Holy moly!"

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

"Good for you for getting your mammogram."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"It's all down to turmeric!"

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

Woman with exercise bike

'Rent two 'feel good' movies, and call me in the morning.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'These facial wraps work great on dead skin.'

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

"Honestly Xanthe. You really need to start spending more on the lipsticks you lend me."

'All I'm saying, Sweetheart, is that maybe you're not quite ready for the advanced yoga class!'

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

'I'll have a two mile run, 150 sit ups and a side of weight training.'

"Are they organic?"

"It's simple. Remove everything from your life that you enjoy, so you can live a long, unenjoyable life."

Gym workout.

"I'm a shadow of my former self."