Welfare System Critic Pillows

"Hi, I'm on the scrounge"

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"The government is adamant that a policy of removing income support from lone parents with children over 7 is in the best interests of the treasury."

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

'I plead not guilty by reason of money.'

'I don't believe in traditional capital punishment. I'm sentencing you to be taxed to death.'

Prison Vacation For Mafiosi

"Hi Ho Hi Ho It's to benefits we go..."

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

'He has that certain undefinable something that says he's guilty as sin.'

'You're on benefits, Mr Scrote, I can't sign you off work - I can only sign you off LOOKING for work.'

Roger Stone

"Orange Lives Matter!"

"I should like a commission on that child tax credit."

'We will take form the middle class and the poor. . . and give it to the rich!'

"The government believes that the benefit system is out of hand!"

Paris-ites

"God damn it, Walter – I'm not even indicted yet."

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

'Evidence, shmevidence - Next!'

'They figure that if they're giving us adult prison sentences they also have to give us adult sized prison garb.'

"Monopoly taught me a lot as a kid, things like, you can get out of jail if you have enough money."

'You lot are wrong - he's fit enough to get back up there!'

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

"May I assume that when you say I should spend the rest of my life behind bars, you are just expressing your opinion?"

'What do you think about forgetting the whole thing and just going back to trying to help people a bit.'

"The government should look where I'm going"

No More Assistance

'What makes you think he's getting special treatment?'

"I told the judge I didn't think prison was the best option for me, yet here I am."

"In closing submissions, the defence would like to bring to the court's attention, my client's impressive collection of 'get out of jail' cards."