Weigh-in Warriors Pillows

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Secretive Weigh In.

Bench Press Accident

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Ring for Service.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"Oh come on!... How can I only have lost two ounces?!"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Genie.

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

'This will a short meeting on the company's ‘Lose Weight' campaign. Ed can't hold his belly in for more than 9 minutes.'

'Are you sure this is only the 100kg?'

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

'I think it's time for you to start on your cooling-down exercises.'

'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'