Weed Aficionados T-Shirts

'Are you kidding, I used to get high with Smokey all the time.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"I've seen a tulip before."

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

"What are you in for?"

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

SPOONING CACTI

"When I heard they legalized weeds, I wanted to be first on the block to let my lawn go."

'The highest court in the land.'

Bonsai Exhibit

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"Have you got any man eating plants?"

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

"It's a letter from the council, about our window box."

House Plant Party

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

'They might be able to resist the candy, but no healthy child can walk by a freshly raked pile of leaves.'

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.

We'll cling together just like the Ivy.

"You spoil that plant!"

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

Gardening.

This plant is a lousy malingerer!