Wedding Planner At Heart Pillows

'Yes, I will marry you, Bob. I've decided I'd like having something to fall back on if my career tanks.'

'You look lovely darling, but it's a bit over the top for a first date. . .'

'Mark my words - this will all end in tears!'

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"I knew it was a mistake to order our wedding cake from your ex-husband's bakery!"

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"...until death do you a favor."

'He does.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Wedding disaster #27.

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'