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Frank's Bakery. Before we see your wedding cake

Lesbian civil partnership.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"I didn't spark joy."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

Fittd shēt

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"...until death do you a favor."

'He does.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Wedding disaster #27.

Ironing day.