Wedding Memorabilia Collector Pillows

"We've been married for twenty-five years. Perhaps we should remove the last remaining can."

Leon blows a great chance to keep his mouth shut.

'C'mon get it straight.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Billy. The Kid.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Downton Abbey Road"

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

The Pencil and Sharpener

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Fridge Magnets/Military Medals

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

"So, you're still doing the Western thing."

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get any human specimens, but I think our leaders will be quite pleased with the snow globe and the commemorative spoon."

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

Self raising Lazarus.