Web Woes Warrior Gifts

'Okay - Who built this site?'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"First, they take my domain, then they take my domain name."

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

'Technology hates me.'

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

"I said, can you hear me now...?!"

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

That night, Andy attempted to start a Twitter revolution.

Meta data retention.

"Ms Hathaway, I need to test my mettle. Find someone on social media who thinks they can bully me."

SOPA supporters regroup.

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

Internet security illustration.

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

'Uh-oh -- Bush found out about internet scams, and now he wants to invade Nigeria.'

"Listen kid, instead of catching these crooks, couldn't I just badmouth the on my website?"

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

Stressed Office Junior

"Thank goodness Facebook is back. For a few hours I had no idea where to direct my rage."

I NEVER accept cookies...

"I want conventional and nuclear battle plans on my desk. It's time to take this Twitter war to the next level."