Weathered Sailor T-Shirts

'Just keep howling till we get to the dock Ben.'

Captain in a storm

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"Aye, but this is the Cairngorms laddie. That'll be �1.15p."

"Too long at sea, I'm afraid."

"Turn 15 degrees Leo... Oh, sorry. Wrong chart."

'Out anniversary was yesterday.'

'What type of line are you using?'

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

'I think it's for retired sailors.'

'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'

'In my day, it weren't just cold - it were bleak an' all.'

A windscreen wiper on a baseball field

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

Row to Row

Tuesday

'You're so lucky, sea creatures only get savoury food, never sweet...'

'We have pitches available,are you a swimmer or a non swimmer...'

"Thanks all the same, but I'm heading west."

101 uses of a dead cat: life ring

A cancelled hunting trip

In the rain a country gent tells his sporting friend from town that they will have a lovely day because the frost has gone

Send away mower for servicing...get your scythe out of the shed.

'His heels are ruining this deck !'

Antonis Samaras

Parade of Boats 2:30

101 uses of a dead cat: boat

'Could you tack my snow shows to the hoofs of my horse?'

Bleak

'It isn't hail. The club just over booked the course.'