Weapons T-Shirts

'It's almost unfair. . . their swords aren't even pointy.'

'Em... Hang on a minute.'

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

Next time I get to choose the weapon first.

Soldier holding a bazooka backwards.

'We have the bomb, but need to upgrade our delivery system.'

Light Artillery

Ancient Weapons

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

"Next time I get to choose the weapon first."

A dog whose nose is a gun.

Progress?

"It only for self-defense."

"Next time, I get to choose the weapon first."

Panzer Hut.

BOMBS, INC: Away!...Away!

Bomber, Bomb, Bomblets

Laser on rifle spelling out 'bang'.

"Ever the gentleman, eh, Westbrook?"

'It'll never catch on. As Health and Safety Officer I can see it's far too dangerous to use - you could have someone's eye out with it!'

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"

"For health and safety reasons, the outer casing is no longer made of lead as we now know this is a very harmful metal."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

'You say you are going after Sharp-tooth tigers? You better use my magnum.'

"State of the art, sir―no matter where it hits, it destroys the entire world."

ACME Weapons, Inc. Next time explain to the Pentagon why their order is delayed. Don't just say "We can't tank you enough."

"This stuff is virtually useless against nukes."

Really big bang

Nobody accidentally self-beheads while cleaning a machete.

"But I use all of them!"

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Bribes for Jabs

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'