Wealth Satire Admirer Gifts

The unhappiness of those with a second home...

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

Money Bar.

"A haand gel...!?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

Hot cross buns

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

Like most billionaires, Hugh Andrews the third prefers to bowl with crystal pins.

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

A Gated Community.

'As you can see global climate change has encouraged some species to adapt to new environments.'

Shakespearean Celebrity Endorsements

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."