Wealth Management Enthusiast Gifts

"Someday this will all be yours, or so you think until you find out at my last will and testament that I left everything to my hot, young trophy wife and you curse my soul to eternal damnation."

'One day son, all this will be asset stripped.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Will work for ETFs

Watering Money

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Stock market investment advice

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

Flat tax - equal burden?

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'