Wealth And Romance Analyst Pillows

'I'm so glad I'm not an heiress, Mr Soper. I should never know whether my suitors were attracted by myself or my money.' Mr Soper. 'Oh, Miss Beekly, your mirror should leave you in no doubt on that score!'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

Deconstructionist girlfriend

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'You say voters in many areas can't relate to me?'

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'And do you agree to share any downturn in the stock market with equanimity?'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

Vote GOP: 'Lowering taxes for the rich creates jobs, in the huge demand for security guards!'

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'

"Honey, I'm home."

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

"So, I'm going to live but my stocks are on life support?"

"I had a hell a time choosing which wine went with your unrealistic expectation of me."

'Oh, Denise. I wish we had met when community property laws were more in favor of men.'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

Second dates are trickier. They ask the same questions as on the first date, looking for inconsistencies.

"Hitting me on the head with your club and dragging me by my hair back to the cave is not my idea of seduction."

"It's Alan Greenspan - he thinks we're moving too fast."

"Are we maximizing our time together or minimizing our efforts?"

Jung and in Love

"Sorry, but she says she's not interested. She just wants to play the field."

'Can I ask you what you're buying lately - Just to make dinner tax-deductible?'