Water Whiz Wannabe T-Shirts

"Tell your dad we offer adult lessons."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

'You can't come in here with that.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

'Make it look like an accident.'

'Boat Launch'

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool?"

Walking on Water

'Listen to this: Each drop of water we drink may have once been in a glacier, Attila the Hun's stew, Mike Tyson's sweat, Liberace's bathwater, drool from a...'

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

'May I have a glass of Perrier with a twist of lemon and a straw?'

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

'Don't even think about it. Your food bill is high enough.'

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

The wine and water lists.

The Water Diviner

"The resort has a pool-bar! Oh goody, book it!"

Our nest egg hatched into a new ski boat.

Two hoses, one labeled 'H2' and the other '0'.

'We're de-salting water?'

'Does this mean you're going to fix the leaky bathroom faucet?'

Canoeing on a Dried River Bed

A sink with one faucet is labeled 'H2' and the other labeled '0'.

Venice Emergency Plumbing Service

"How do you stop this bloody thing?"

"He sold his fresh water before it melted."