Water Pressure Philosopher Gifts

Showering

'You lifted your head.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Most of us get around the company motto by saying 'No can do' instead!"

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

'When I called her a witch, I had no idea...'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

"This is a tough place to work..."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

Friday is Wet Khakis Day!

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Fish near-death experiences.

"Our staff here at the practice believe in 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration, so I had these showers installed."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"The enemy of my enemy isn't my friend, but we do occasionally carpool together on the way into the office."

"Are you new around here?"

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

Snub Marine

'Ladies... gentlemen... I imagine you're all wondering why you've been invited to this think tank.'

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

'Baxter! I should have known I'd find you by the water cooler!'

Man at cooler, notices mouse hole also with cooler.

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

"We got a pool going about when the bubbles go."

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

'Do you think he recognizes us?'

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

No Loitering. Beware of the Dog.

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."