Water Drinking Pro T-Shirts

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Shaken not stirred

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'The King of what?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Whiskey wars

Rabbit Punch

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

In case of falling markets break glass.

"It's right here in the brochure: 'Be sure to tip your fishing guide.'"

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

Australian Mobile Bar

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

"There! Now let's hear no more noise about wanting a glass of water!"

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

'Remind me: are we on our way to the pub or coming home from the pub?'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

Stag night high jinks.

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'