Water Critic T-Shirts

Bottled Water

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Technically, it's a mammal."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Don Quixote

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"Quick swig first?"

Red Wine

Wine tasting

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Using public relations to change perspective about the oil spill in the Gulf...

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

"We wish we could drink the water."

"Wine is plant-based food."

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"I can remember when water was just wet."

"You have sewage between your teeth."

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

UK sewage dumps

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."