Watching Netflix Pillows

Millennial Splaining

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"They grow up so fast."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

Billy. The Kid.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Television Readers.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

'Einsteiners.'

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Lazy Octopus

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

American Idle.

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'There's nothing on.'

"Bloody hell!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."