Watching Medical Comedies Pillows

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

Medical Center.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Urology...can you hold?'

'Just another couple of pages.'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'Why do you people always wait a week or two before seeking medical help?

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.