Watching Live Sports Pillows

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Putting Practice.

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Watching the football.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

Man watching football on T.V. in armchair made of beer cans.

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'