Wartime Romance Fan Pillows

"Can't you do K.P. tomorrow."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"So, do you come here often?"

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"Looks like someone got lucky."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a member of the armed forces."

Masked Admirer

"Well, thats buggered that idea"

"Well, then why don't the British just borrow Major Eliot from the Herald Tribune."

Wilfred Owen

'I need your honest opinion...does my butt look big enough in this?'

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

Careful

A call to save energy, based loosely on the style of second world war posters

"Why don't you join the Army."

'I wandered lonely...er..on my own for a bit..'

"Do you care for the soldier type?"

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

the romance novel

Richard Strauss

'She's still coming, Kemosabe.'

'I can't read your manuscript now, Miss Austen, I'm going speed dating.'

'Put that light out!'

'We know you'll be angry, but we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together...'

A blimp falls in love with a fat man.

"Can they really make a Yale man a private?"

"That's the last of those we're going to get. British censorship, you know."

"I'm popping out for some anonymous sex. Can I bring you back anyone?"

Carmen is stabbed by Don Jose

'I think it was better back in the days when you could be befriended, but not defriended.'

The Pilsener Pump

'Yes, yes, we love you too!'

'It's a whistle only mothers can hear.'