Warrior T-Shirts

"Not to lecture, but the skull of your fallen enemy is reusable and much less wasteful."

'Like I said kid, Berserker, Swordsman or Oarsman. We don't have any classes for florists.'

"Well of course this is a hostile workplace environment. You do realize what it is you do for a living, don't you?"

'Actually, his strength is as the strength of ten because he fights dirty.'

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"Relax dear. You haven't 'put on a ridiculous amount of weight'. You've just forgotten to take off your armour."

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Seriously, NONE of them are serrated.

'Make sure he does a number two.'

Samurai Katsuke wasn't much of a great sword fighter, but he was one of the greatest optimists in old Japan.

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"Told you we shouldn't list each other as emergence contacts."

Death sentence.

Viking Careers.

"I failed the physical"

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'Lactose intolerant, eh? Must be tricky, what with being a Maasai an' all....'

"Like I said kid, oarsman, swordsman, big hammer guy, and Berserker. There's no market for florists."

Axes 'R' Us Store

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"You can't see a grief counselor just because you got a 'B'."

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

Information Macht Frei

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

William Tell Executions.

'You're too aggressive.'

'Sanders, our numbers on google are slipping, let's pump up the keywords.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

'You're too aggressive.'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"