War Zone Sportsman Pillows

'I'm always happy to be taking incoming fire with no available support. . . as long as I know the table tennis tournament will be well protected.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

"Buy him a pint and he'll tell you about the blitz, buy him three and he'll re-enact it"

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

"I still thinking he's putting something unidentified on the ball."

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

01/08/45

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Clearing up medals.

"The Chilcot inquiry? No, this is the inquiry into what happened to the Chilcot inquiry."

Mr Punch's Design for A Statue to Miss Nightingale

Safety last.

Remembering All The American Idols.

George Smith Patton

'That one's for being a very brave boy!'

'This one is for not stirring up global tensions with anything I say in TV interviews.'

Nancy Wake -French resistance fighter WW11

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

Brads a Peloponnesian War renactor.

"How was your day, dear?"

Seriously? Boom! Pow, pow, pow!

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

"You could say I'm a war veteran. I'm a retired junior high teacher."

"This is a much better war then the war to end all wars."

The True Reason of War. A Little Frontier Incident in Alsace, July 1914.

'You're going to have to find a way of avoiding those fast serves!'

World War II - Stalag 541 escape club reunion annual dinner.

Blood on their Hands

For service to services...

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

'Anyone want to learn how to do a leg sweep? How about a roundhouse kick? it's ok, your parents know who I am!'