War Documentaries Gifts

"He won't move from one gulf war to another."

Live Stream

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Crocodile

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

Police film evidence

Kirsten Johnson

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Cinéma Vérité

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Poor vs Rich

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'I still say these shots need more action.'

A fly on the wall documentary.