Wannabe Wizard Pillows

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

As Seen On TV

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You know, on second thought, we just might have an opening.'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

EXPELLI-ANUS!

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"Ow. That's the second time you've stepped on my foot."

'Can you direct me to the publisher of the Harry Potter books?'

"Don't you DARE float your head when I'm speaking to you!"

"You have a rent in your invisibility cloak."

'Oh, oh - it's tomorrow.'

'...so you need us to slow time, break the law and perform three miracles...by next Tuesday. You need to dial extension 101 and ask for the Wizard of Oz!'

'I told you to summon an orc, not a dork!'

Dress for the level to which you aspire.