Wannabe Whiskers Gifts

Adam was convinced that if he self identified as a cat he would have cat-like reflexes.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

Cat Reunion

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

"I hate it..."

"I pulled a few strings to get you this job, Simmons. Don't spend your day playing with them."

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

'Catch any good mice lately?'

"You're amazing!"

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"I lick my fur and then rub against their legs. They think I'm being affectionate, but I'm actually just wiping cat spit on them."

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

'What magnificent whiskers My wife would never let me grow anything like THAT'

This here's my kitty! I call er Whiskers!

Cats the musical

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'Sometimes I think they understand every word we're saying.'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

They say I get 152 channels.

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"Shaving off your three whiskers doesn't make you older!"

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

Long-range planning

Hooray for my Cat! who thinks EVERYTHING I DO is fantastic!

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

'What a hunk!'

"I'm sure Mistress meant well: The cat on the box is smiling, but I agree, this tastes and smells horrible..."

"The Mind Of Whiskers."