Wannabe Macgyver T-Shirts

'Put it back and go and collect some proper firewood!'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

House building chart (like steps).

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"Yes, I know how to fix it! I watched a 12 year-old do it on a YouTube video."

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

Who do you think you're kidding? The cub scouts don't have a "special ops."

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

I'm emulating my dad - running around with mags like this. Looking smart...and in truth I'm just reading the funnies and the horoscopes!

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

A young boy shaving

"So a plumber charges $600 for 45 minutes' work?! Is that the coolest job or what?!"

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

"I failed insemination!"

After the cutbacks at flight simulator school. . .

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

TO BOLDLY GO where everyone else went (not all that long ago...)

"I've got a part in a soap."

"From now on let's do our drawings inside the cave."

"I can try all I want, but there's no way I look smooth on this bike!"

'Sure he's got a smart phone, but he doesn't know how to use it. He's a geek poser.'