Wannabe Fixer T-Shirts

"So a plumber charges $600 for 45 minutes' work?! Is that the coolest job or what?!"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

Zorro as a child.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

Enlightened Cursing

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

God's lil' fix-it shop.

Power and the Glory tools

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Cardiology

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

Man patching up his bag.

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

'Can Dad fix whatever this was?'

Man bangs on a malfunctioning bathroom mirror to get his reflection to show.

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."

'What's this, your estimate or your telephone number?'