Wannabe Diplomat Pillows

Iran shoots itself.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Militant Pacifists

AUKUS Deal Annoys France

EU

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

My First Boat

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'Heeheehee! My guests will love it!'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Juncker: He Had a Dream...

Putin's Russia

'Our foreign policy is making me depressed. So let's just stick to screwing up our domestic policy.'

Permission to get to first base denied.

Iran Talks - 'Okay...let's see...let's go over your new proposals to seriously resolve grave obstacles to world peace...'