Wall Street Wonder Pillows

Wall Street: Broke and Broker.

'My mom's a professional stock trader. Don't let the martini and cigar fool 'ya, she's all woman.'

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

'Choo, Dow Jones. Did you hear that? A sneeze from Wall Street.'

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'

"The dollar is falling!"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

'Time to buy.'

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

Injured backpacker.

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

Dance.

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'You go without me. I'm feeling a little down today.'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

Circa 1490: The area we now know as Wall Street.

Dancing to Mobile Tunes

"Of course I'm depressed. Just once I'd like to be associated with an up stock market."

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

...Shares can go up as well as down.

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

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