Wall Street Hopeful Pillows

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

'When I'm a CEO on Wall Street this will make a wonderful anecdote.'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

Jumping Wall Street.

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

The United States' economy deflating.

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

'A few days away from those sharks on Wall Street will make all the difference.'

Shares Nosedive

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

US Economy: 'Wow! What a beautiful sight!'

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

'Today, emerging market funds rose on news the American dream is alive and well in Thailand, Singapore, China. . .'

'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

Humpty Dumpty on Wall Street.

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.

'Today on wall street, a rumor led to a rumor which raised fears of insider rumor-mongering.'

'Twenty-seven years in a row the women investors in this club have outperformed the men--talk about lucky streaks.'

...Shares can go up as well as down.

Insecurity hits Wall Street