Wall Scaler T-Shirts

"Where can I get me one o' them border collies like yours, Earl?"

The Evolution of the Bonus

Career opportunities

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"I don’t care that muscle weighs more than fat. I only know I work out here and gain 5 pounds!"

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Scales

The hour of justice

Fat man on scales.

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Woman and sport trainer

"A Clif Bar wrapper? That's why you dragged me up here?!"

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

"It's a dog eat dog world, Finkstrom."

'When did these start coming with privacy protection?'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Using balloons to weigh less.

'I think it's having a core melt down!'

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

'Dad! - Mum's cheating again!'

"Yup, that pound cake did weigh a pound."

"It says, ' ... can't breathe ... get off!'"

Objects On Scale Are Heavier Than They Appear