Wall Builder Gifts

Bricklayers in goal.

"We're going have to build higher walls."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"Werewolves of London..."

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Lego Haircut

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'