Walker Jockey Pillows

"Dammit, Wilson! Pull over and let the serious walkers pass!"

Rocking Horse

A day at the transgenic races

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Gentlemen Riders

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

First past the post.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Tiptoe through the tulips with me!

Horse racing puns

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Dog Walker

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

Sporting maladies.

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

'Bad dog- I said WALKIES!'

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

"It's their big annual event—the Run for the Roses."

Sporting maladies.

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

"I want to be a Jockey."

'Got to keep the little ones entertained!'

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

"Me, I've quit racing. I was very good at it, but I just couldn't hack the early training sessions..."

'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'