Vow Evader Pillows

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

"Data is just another way of never having to say you're sorry. You know that, David."

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

"He's not good with change!"

Man to lady regarding 'Resistance Exercises' book: 'No thanks. I've been an expert on resisting to exercise for 20 years.'

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

Man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Did You Forget Mother's Day?

"I have a prescription for my test anxiety."

You're too young to be worrying about SAT tests. But I have to score well to get a good job someday. In the real world, no one hires people who're only good at multiple choice questions. Actually, Nana

"I got an extension.'

"Can we, just for a moment, your Honor, ignore the facts?"

"How much do we owe them?"

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"I have an app that does my exercise for me!"

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

"I'd like a word with you please."

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

His Master's Noise.

'Can we avoid going through the insurance company.'

"What an exhausting weekend! I made too may commitments Friday during Happy Hour and spent Saturday and Sunday weaseling out of them."

What say we save a tree, and skip the test?

"No, Harry, shaking ketchup on your burger and chips twice a day cannot be counted as exercise."

'Listen up! Me and Everyone else will run for our lives. Dewey You stay back and block.'

Recent studies show that a man's fear of commitment extends to the television, where he suffers an unrelenting paranoia that something better is on another channel.

"Those aren't blanks, Ms Doan. They're no comments."