Voicemail Warrior Pillows

"If you have a touch tone telephone, please choose from the following 12,847 options. . ."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

Ban on Free Speech

'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"I hit reply all too many times."

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Censorship is killing free society.

"Well that email could have been a meeting."

Call Center.

"He's joined a whatsapp group for fans of Matt Hancock's Whatsapp messages."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

Amateur Spam.

E-mail

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

"This the nastiest email that I ever read. I want to use it as our new template."

E-mail message - You have a message that isn't junk!

"All right, back to answering e-mails and sighing."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"Unsubscribe us or face annihilation."

Out of office.

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

"Can't these people read? I put a sign saying 'No Solicitors' on my website, and I'm still getting spam."

"Darn it, she's unreachable when she gets her inbox down to zero."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

"I got your email to work – but it can only send and receive spam."