Voice Illusionist Gifts

Ventriloquist throwing his/her voice to confuse someone knocking on his/her door.

Why do my wife's lips move when I'm talking.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Best Special Effects Award

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

"I probably deserved a twenty year sentence, but did he have to do it in a Donald Duck voice?"

Cow can

Book and magician

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

"Look! I can imitate you!"

"Who's this then? Melvyn Bragg!"

'I'll make this rabbit disappear.'

"You'll agree then, Doug, the numbers don't sound quite so dismal when I use my Donald Duck voice."

Alien Magician

I think he's saying that after losing his job, he was retrained as a street mime.

Painting leaves onto a window.

'We find this miniature rock band helps the illusion of a live band experience.'

Badly Drawn. Please Photoshop.

"It's the greatest diet. You eat all you want. Then you let them stretch you with Photoshop."

"He doesn't talk much but he does some amazing impressions."

Dobbson's False Doorway Company A man has walked into an actual painted Trompe l'oeil False Doorway and has got knocked out .

'Instead of going somewhere, how about we just Photoshop our vacation this year?'

Laurel Canyon

'If you expect to get ahead around here, never again address the executive staff in your Donald Duck voice.'

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"As a magician, you're good at making things appear and disappear. Would you mind making the files I accidentally deleted reappear?"

Ventriloquism for beginners.

'She dumped me for a guy who can talk like Donald Duck!'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'There's no great trick to it.'

'Well, you would have a nasal voice too if you had a nose like mine...'