Vision Rehabilitation Specialist Gifts

ROYAL NATIONAL INSTITUTE of the BLIND

Guide moles for the blind.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Hospital Departments

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Musical Eye Test

'How did you train him so well?'

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

“He runs the top Virtual Reality company in the world. In fact, that’s not really him.”

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Double vision! Are you sure?"

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

"Those visions of sugar plums aren't an eye problem. You're just in the holiday spirit."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'No,if you'll read the eyes-in-the-back-off-your-head chart, I check your mom vision,'

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

"Feels like an elephant trunk...."

"So I tell the ophthalmologist my eyes have been really sensitive to light lately and what's he do? He shines bright lights right in them!"

George Washington's Birthday

'Cliff! Cliff!.. Where are you Cliff?'

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Hen to optometrist about chicks: 'I'm here to check my peepers.'