Vision Correction Mugs

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

Contacts vs. Glasses

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Monocle! Monocle! Monocle!"

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Make sure they fit straight!'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Hospital Departments

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Musical Eye Test

'How did you train him so well?'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'Very good, but not quite 'presidential vision'.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

"Feels like an elephant trunk...."

George Washington's Birthday

"Am I seeing double? You and your twin are the experts, why don't you two tell me!"

Hen to optometrist about chicks: 'I'm here to check my peepers.'

"The side lenses will help you maintain visual acuity when looking askance."

The seeing-eye cat.

A Pirate at the Opticians.

"I'm here for an examination, my ditzy missus thinks I may need glasses."

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

Guide dog looks at ball that has gone over wall.

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

"Let's say that's better without, shall we?"

Header: Franchising of Optometry Caption: 'With every new pair of glasses you get a cheap plastic toy of a character from the latest kids movie'