Vision Analyzers Gifts

An optimist, a pessimist & an optometrist.

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

Hospital Departments

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'Last night I dreamt in widescreen and colour, with director's commentary and added extras.'

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

Wearing all black

Last night I dreamed I was lying on a beach with Sandra Dee, and a big lifeguard asked to see my beach tag. I didn

Sigmund Freud.

'There are bankers under my bed.'

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

"Well, Mr. Swanson, I don't know that I can help you improve your standing in your focus group, but I can definitely check out your visual focus."

I can't decide if your recurring dream about the Hindenburg indicates a preoccupation with death or phallic symbols. I was hoping it just indicted a preoccupation with hydrogen-filled zeppelins.

What can I get you? I'll have a mocha, a scone, and an explanation of Beyonce's "Formation" video. Ok. Would you like that for here or to go? Here would be good. Ok. Last month, Beyonce released a music video that expressed pride in her black heritage. Pride in black culture, pride in black physical features, pride even in the Black Panther movement. The reason this is ok is, for centuries, mainstream culture has been telling black people to be ashamed of all that. They've been told to straighte

"I'm afraid you're developing Guac-loma in

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Hypnotist - "You are going into a deeeep sleeep"

Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...

'As soon as she's out zap her with the brain probe!'

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

The Seeing-Eye Squirrel

"I've just had the most horrible dream!"

'It's a common hibernation nightmare, You wake up lying next to Ted Nugent,'

Psychiatrist catches patient's hallucination.

Sight test with a violin.

"Whoa, deja  vu!"

"I'm having these weird dreams about medical professionals delivering babies. . ."

'You're definitely a winter.'