Virtue Evangelist Pillows

'I've led an exemplary life! - when will you let me in?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Ladies, gentlemen, come in and take a seat. I've decided to take this corporation in an entirely new direction."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

The Ordered List

Guitars in Heaven

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"It was a gift from god."

Will work for manure.

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

"Before I share the meaning of life with Dave, let's take some calls from our viewers around the world."

A preacher of open-source software.

Applying skills in teaching special needs students to dealing with colleagues.

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

"Well, sure I'd like to instill the values of hard work and discipline, but that takes hard work and discipline."

'Do you have any oranges?'

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

"J is the reason for the season."

'Don't play with firework(ers).'

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

Weighing up strategic needs vs. immediate needs.

"For trick or treating, I'm dressing up as Billy Graham and going witnessing door-to-door."

'I feel awkward asking you whether you'd consider me for a missionary position.'

'Cult? What makes you think it's a cult?'

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'

Jerry Falwell - Evangelist.

"Don't think of it as getting fired, Jenkins. . . think of it as giving you your wings to soar on your own!"