Virtue Evangelist Pillows

'I've led an exemplary life! - when will you let me in?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Ladies, gentlemen, come in and take a seat. I've decided to take this corporation in an entirely new direction."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

The Ordered List

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

Pride - from The Seven Deadly Sins.

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"It was a gift from god."

Will work for manure.

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

A preacher of open-source software.

Applying skills in teaching special needs students to dealing with colleagues.

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

"Well, sure I'd like to instill the values of hard work and discipline, but that takes hard work and discipline."

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

'Don't play with firework(ers).'

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

Weighing up strategic needs vs. immediate needs.

Jerry Falwell - Evangelist.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I'm here to share a brief Bible message with you about the good news of God's Kingdom."

"I expected the mission field to be a little more modern."

Refugee Crisis

'Cult? What makes you think it's a cult?'

'I feel awkward asking you whether you'd consider me for a missionary position.'

'No way you're ever going to comply with all of THAT!'