Virtual Makeover Artist Gifts

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Congratulations on the new you!

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'This guy's FAST!'

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Virtual Magic Tricks

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

Brick Red Paint...

Non Drip Paint

"Phil, you've done a terrific job of reinventing yourself...but we see here you're still just patent pending."

Sistine Chapel - Extreme Makeover: 'Blue's good but lets loss all the clouds and the drama.'

'Take ten years off the top.'

'I heard you were going deer hunting so I camouflaged the car!'

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

Painting leaves onto a window.

"Last week, actually – thanks for noticing."

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

'My decorator said I should hang Art on that wall, but I don't think he looks good there!'

The benefits of decorating

Extreme Makeover.

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

Painter has borrowed children's slide to paint the walls.

'For an additional fee I can touch up your DMV picture using digital photo editing software.'

'Now watch me wash out all these nasty stripes!'