Virtual Makeover Artist Gifts

The first thing I'm doing is deleting all my old Insta photos.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Congratulations on the new you!

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'This guy's FAST!'

Ceiling painter with an umbrella.

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'I had a little cosmetic surgery done this week.'

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

Virtual Magic Tricks

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

Brick Red Paint...

'Take ten years off the top.'

Non Drip Paint

Sistine Chapel - Extreme Makeover: 'Blue's good but lets loss all the clouds and the drama.'

"Phil, you've done a terrific job of reinventing yourself...but we see here you're still just patent pending."

Russell Rebrand

'I heard you were going deer hunting so I camouflaged the car!'

"Last week, actually – thanks for noticing."

Painting leaves onto a window.

'I'm looking for something that reeks moderation and restraint.'

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

'My decorator said I should hang Art on that wall, but I don't think he looks good there!'

Painter has borrowed children's slide to paint the walls.

The benefits of decorating

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

Extreme Makeover.

'For an additional fee I can touch up your DMV picture using digital photo editing software.'

Painting by numbers - "Is this your first decorating job."