Virtual Friend Collector Pillows

"I have 500 Facebook friends. I wonder who the kid is who lives next door?"

'But in the end, despite Mr. Dolbert's 12,365 facebook friends, we all die alone.'

Wildlife

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

'T.M.I.F.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

SALE

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Fish hunting for men.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Non-Denominational Carols

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'